i.. i can't believe he did that, said that. i was used to him drinking and shouting bad things at me, but he never laid a hand on me. my cheek still hurts and it looks red too, i put ice on it though, mom always said that makes it better.


once again he's been drinking too much. we were fishing at the lake by our house and we got into a fight, the reason being alcohol. he screamed at me 'no wonder your mom left, she couldn't handle her worthless, arrogant bastard of a son' so i.. i just lost it. for the first time ever i screamed back at him and defended myself. he punched me really hard and i ended up in the lake, but surprisingly he pulled me out before i could die.


he's so special, seems so innocent. i need to have him, i want to have him.


i fucked up, i fucked up so badly. he was my everything and he's gone now. i shouldn't have lost control, i shouldn't have been drinking. it's all my fault, but i'll make it work again, i'll get him back no matter what it takes. i can't be without him, i can feel the weight in my lungs pushing down on me, i can't breathe normally.